Overcoming Sexual Identity Issues
Even though I was saved as a child, I did not know the heart of God. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. Since then, my father seemed like a distant figure who only visited once in a while. His passive nature failed to give me the love and affection I needed. Since I did not understand fatherly love, I never understood God’s love for me. I always saw God as a creator more than a father.
Between middle school and hormonal changes, my identity became twisted because of my desperate for a male figure to love me like a father should. Thus, this turned into a same-sex attraction to men. I saw my guy friends differently. I didn’t feel the same as everyone else. I struggled with my identity and handling these emotions until high school. During this time, I was constantly bullied for being different than the rest of the guys.
My freshman year of high school, I came out to my friends, my mom, and my sister. I thought it would make everyone stop hurting me if I accepted the fact that I believed I was gay. It only made things worse. One night, in my sophomore year, I broke down to my mom and told her that I couldn’t go to that school anymore. I was too scared and too hurt. So we moved to the next school which was about 30 minutes away. My friends from church were going there, and I thought I could start fresh and run away from it all. But it was never really a fresh start.
From my junior year of high school until my sophomore year of college, I struggled to figure out who I was and who I loved. I tried to be faithful to God, but I was still condoning sin in my life and felt guilty every time I messed up. During that time, I had sexual experiences with multiple guys. I tried to have a few relationships with girls here and there, but they were broken from the start.
My junior year of college I got an internship at Freedom Church I hoped that this place could help me figure out what I wanted to do when I graduated, but it ended up being the place I found the God’s love. I was mentored by the pastor I served, and we began working together toward my transformation. From that point forward, my life began to turn around in an incredible way.
Because of my obedience and willingness to do whatever it took to become everything God created me to be, I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. It was hope. Because of the work of restoration in my life, I am completely transformed, outwardly and inwardly. Now I’m free. The bondage of homosexuality no longer has a hold on my life. I have victory over my homosexual thoughts and tendencies, and I have never felt better. Now I’m developing new feelings that I’ve never experienced before. The moment I decided to come to Freedom Church was the moment I began to live in freedom.
Psalm 103:13 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.”
Scripture verses to meditate and pray:
Confusion is not from God the Father. Ask Him to show you who you are in His eyes as you meditate on these scriptures.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may be discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)
“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. And by this we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” (Romans 8:15)
“I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:18)